Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
