I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
