So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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