Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
