high people should be assigned attendants
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
