hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
