she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
