I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
