At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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