I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
