where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
