you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
don't judge my taste in strippers
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
