Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
