i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
