I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
