gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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