I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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