hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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