My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
