8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
People in love make me want to vomit
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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