i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
