Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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