But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
