You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
