"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
