dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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