im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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