the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
