what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
