Your tits are I can't wait for
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
