i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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