I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
