apparently the secret to your success is patron
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
