Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Still dying that you shit outside
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
