dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
