so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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