you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
