He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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