I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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