STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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