hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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