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In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
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