fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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