Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am midnight drunk by noon
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
