I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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