I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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