yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
