And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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