I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
