Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
