Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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