Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
pop tarts are not kleenex
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
