11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
