I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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