I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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