it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
