He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
