Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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