I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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