Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
