Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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