whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize