I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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