would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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