I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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