oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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