bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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