capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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