I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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