No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
