His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
